10 Abbey Court

Local estate agent (*) Jason is showing prospective client Abigail around a property that has just been put on the market. Her shocking reason for being so keen to view this particular property only becomes clear as the curtain closes. * Written in British English. In American, Jason would be a realtor.

A Bit Of A Turn

Maureen and her Aunt Vera are discussing Brenda's accident.

A Cut Above The Rest

The over fifties club panto group in Wowham-In-The-Stalls are meeting to discuss their next pantomime. Dominant organiser Jack, who writes directs and constantly rubs the others up the wrong way, has decided on swingeing budget cuts, much to the consternation of well-established divas in the group. Jack has also decided that younger people should be allowed to take part, further upsetting the status quo. The Vicar's attempts to calm troubled waters are increasingly ineffective as turmoil reigns in this one act comedy.

A Desirable Location

Can James the estate agent find the right house for Ruth?

A Game of Panto Thrones

History, legend and fairy tale are interwoven in this rhyming tale about pantomime villains and their efforts to steal Old King Cole's crown and usurp his throne. But Old King Cole has a secret weapon: his mother!

A Matter Of Health and Safety [One Act Version]

Tom is determined that the annual village fete will go off without a Health and Safety disaster, and he's prepared to send away the qualified First Aider to make sure she doesn't cause trouble. But first he needs her ministrations, and then there's the ruckus with the Jack Russell... Be careful with this one!

A Matter of Health and Safety [Short Version]

Officious Village fete organiser Tom discusses health and safety issues with his assistant Nigel but becomes increasingly concerned for his own health and safety.

A Matter of Taste

Sheila and Natalie meet for coffee to sort out Sheila's complicated love life. Sheila's work colleague Karen joins them, and gives Sheila some food for thought. The waitress has a new boyfriend who just happens to be the chef. The four women discuss what they want in a relationship. But will Sheila find the right man?

A One Hearse Town

An Irish village is bereft of a spiritual centre since the Priest departed with a lady named Bridget. Luckily, the Pub now stands in the church's stead, offering solace, groceries, community and, of course, whiskey.

A Right Old Scream

Judith and Mavis are on a day out. They have an unexpected cultural experience whilst sheltering from the rain, when an art gallery gives them something to Munch on...

A Slice Of Elizabethan Life

This play portrays a slice of Elizabethan life and follows on from 'A Slice of Tudor Life' by the same author. They can be used separately or together to give an overview of the Tudor Dynasty. Narrators and various characters from Elizabeth's life, including the ghost of her father King Henry VIII, comment on her personality and events in her life until her death.

A Slice Of Tudor Life - A Tale Of Two Henrys

A brief overview of Henry VII and how the Tudor dynasty started is followed by the life, strife, and every wife of Henry VIII. Narrators and Rappers, along with various characters from his life, comment on his personality and events in his life - until his death in 1547. Five Rap songs, but they need no music, included with this script.

Accidents Will Happen

Jim goes to visit his friend Andy in hospital. The Doctor's bedside manner (or lack of it) rankles with Andy, who in turn tries the doctor's patience.

Acting, It’s Not Plumbing…

Jill is running a drama workshop in the community centre, but is it really just for the benefit of those taking part? Whatever her motivation, Paul, Amy, Chelsea, Bob, Sandra and Fay are having a whale of a time.

Ali Baba [Version 2]

At her bakery in Cairo Fatima Baba is worried about her soggy bottom.. Will her flatcakes ever get the seal of approval from Pharaoh Rosher? Will Assam Aggie and her tea thief friends ever stop taking a tea break? And will Ali Baba defeat the evil Cassim and reach his lair in time to rescue the beautiful Morgiana?

An Apple a Day

Serial dieter Laura is on yet another diet but is struggling to maintain her willpower. Will her sister Nikki be able to get her back on track?

And The Bride Wore...

A young bride-to-be has an appointment at the shop to look at wedding dresses. Whilst this should be a special moment in her life, arguments and family jealousies surface much to the dismay of the shop owner. For some of the older women it is a time to reminisce about their own wedding day, providing touching moments amongst the comedy. An all female cast of characters play out the conflicts and tensions between the bride and groom's mismatched families as they try to reach agreement on what bride Tayla, and her bridesmaids, are to wear.

Around The Fridge In Eighty Calories

Kate contemplates changes to her weekly shopping list since starting her latest slimming group.

At Your Leisure

Carolyn has been trying to get her couch potato husband, John, to get fit, but without much success. When John reads a newspaper article about fitness holidays, Carolyn thinks she will get the action holiday she has always wanted, however John has a different perspective.

Babes in the Wood [Version 5]

The evil Sheriff of Nottingham wants money and lots of it. He employs two new tax inspectors, Stuff and Nonsense to help double his income. When the Babes, Teddy and Tilly, arrive he is determined to kill them and keep their inheritance. Robin Hood and his Merry Men come to the rescue to thwart his nasty plans.

Best Foot Forward, Darling

Terence, the highly strung choreographer watches and grumbles as dancers Monica and Jasper perform his creation. His mood swings from rage to praise and poor Monica feels the full force of his wrath.

Brian's Day Out in the Snow

Brian goes out in the snow to meet Steven. (All we'll say about that is that there is some misdirection involved.)

Bring Me Sunshine

George and Kate are taking a walk along Morecambe promenade to re-live old memories. George is shocked at what he sees, but the down-to-earth locals convince him that history won’t repeat itself.

Charm Offensive

A handsome, suave and attentive man with no visible means of support moves to an affluent town and into Belinda's house. According to Rosemary, Belinda's best friend, something about this charmer doesn’t quite add up. As Neil continues his charm offensive, public opinion is divided as to his motives.

Cinderella [Version 11]

Sly Chancellor Chetwyn Chugmuffin and his hapless henchmen make life difficult for the people of Ambrosia. Cinderella’s stepsisters have made her life one of drudgery but her Fairy Godmother comes to the rescue and helps her meet and marry Prince Charming. Will the King of Ambrosia ever marry his son Prince Charming off? How will Cinderella get to the ball without a pumpkin coach?

Cinderessex

Cinderessex is at the beck and call of her step sisters Dolce and Gabanna and wicked stepmother Chardonnay. Buttonit is Cinderessex's best friend and looks out for her, along with her dotty godmother Fairy Nuff. When international celebrity footballer and well-liked Essex boy Jack Charming announces the opening of his nightclub, The Glass Slipper, the gloves are off as Essex women clamour to be his date.

Dear Diet Diary

A woman who has been struggling with her weight addresses the issue of dieting through a monologue directed at her diary.

Dick Whittington [Version 7]

The classic story of Boy meets Cat, meets girl, meets rats and becomes Lord Mayor, told in a panto style. This version stars the incomparable Frankie Binatra and his Rat Pack as the villains.

Don't Get Me Started...

Marilyn, a middle-aged domestic goddess, has an expensive lifestyle to maintain.

Everything Stops for Tea

It is the day of the village fete, and Joyce Bernard, stalwart of the WI manages to keep her composure when the organiser casts a critical eye on her tea tent.

Everything's Coming Up Roses

Hayfever sufferer Rose has been advised to relieve her work stress by sitting and smelling the roses. Her visit to the park does little to relieve her stress until she meets gardener Brad and romance blooms.

Face Value

It's time for a taster session of art at the Prudence Wilde Community Centre, and the 'Wilde bunch' welcome a new member. They all do their best to make Doris feel welcome as they struggle to capture a likeness of model Georgina on their easels.

First Impressions

Sandra and Mary are on a day out in London. They have an unexpected cultural experience whilst sheltering from the rain.

Flavour Of The Month

Dave and George are spending a night out at the local pub. George is seeking advice from Dave about his wife’s latest dieting fad.

For My Final Act

The Accolades is a retirement home for stars of stage and screen, but just because they're in a retirement home, doesn't mean they're out of the spotlight. Rene and Judy are competing for the headline in their joint Edinburgh festival show, but they don’t know all the details yet.

Free For Hall

The local amateur dramatic group are rehearsing their pantomime in the local village hall but the venue has been triple booked and no-one is prepared to budge. With Celeste getting her yoga knickers in a twist and conflict running high amongst the drama group members the chaos is eventually resolved.

Grandma at the Village Fete

A humourous monologue about the excitement at this year's village fete, with Grandma's fortune telling, the exploits of Camp Claude and a host of other village characters.

Grandma's Day Out

The story of Grandma's eventful day out with the Over-Seventies' Club.

Humpty Dumpty

The kingdom of Albuminia, ruled by King Shelvis, is a shook-up when Humpty is broken and wicked witch Salmonella's plot to take over the kingdom nears completion. Fortunately Dame Egwina Snifffy-Yolk and her cohorts, ably assisted by Nutz the horse and a little magic from Fairy Soufle, are able to thwart her evil plans.

I'm Not One To Gossip But...

Brenda has met up with her old friend Sharon for lunch and a friendly gossip at Phillip's café. Through the gossip, a few skeletons in Phillip's cupboard are revealed.

If The Shoe Fits

Vicky and Sam are both trained dancers and actresses, auditioning for the part of Cinderella in a production called 'Cinderella Ballerina'. When they meet each other inside the audition room they begin to have doubts. Will they get the part they have always coveted? Will they actually want the part - once the director has revealed his ideas?

Isn't It Odd

Margaret is sitting in her kitchen reflecting on the past and the antics of her neighbours - not that she's nosey...!

It's A Funny Old Game

Dave and George spending a night out at the local pub watching a televised football match. They get philosophical after the final whistle.

Jack and Jill The Pantomime

Jack and Jill the Pantomime isn't just the story of a boy and girl who went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. As befits a magical story there is a crystal fountain and a golden pail. It has a good Fairy and an evil Fairy plus the wonderfully eccentric and dotty Brown Owl and Akela. Throw into this mix nurse Norma Snickers the dame, and her beau Walter Butt and you have all the ingredients for a traditional fun-filled family pantomime by Bob Heather and Cheryl Barrett.

Jack's Amazing Beanstalk Rocket

'Jack's Amazing Beanstalk Rocket' has a modern sci-fi twist to the traditional Jack and the Beanstalk tale. When kind-hearted Jack Bunn sells the family cow, little does he realise the adventure that lies ahead. Good fairy Lunette watches over the Bunn family as they boldly go where no beanstalk has gone before and battle with intergalactic forces of evil.

Jonah And The Giant Fish

A re-telling of Jonah and his reluctance to preach to the people of Ninevah. Or - The one that didn't get away!

Jungle Book - A Play For Schools

BEST SELLER Set in the Indian Jungle this play for schools combines poetic licence and plenty of humour and songs to retell Rudyard Kipling’s delightful Jungle Book story. A man-cub has escaped the clutches of Shere Khan, a ferocious tiger intent on revenge. Adopted by wolves Mowgli the man-cub is taught the ways of the jungle by Baloo the Bear and his friend Bagheera. Follow Mowgli on his adventures in the jungle as he gets to know the other animals, especially the hilarious Bandar Log monkeys. Will Mowgli and his birth mother, Messua, be reunited?

Jungle Book - The Pantomime

Mowgli the man cub has escaped the clutches of the ferocious tiger, Shere Khan, who is intent on revenge. Adopted by wolves Mowgli is taught the ways of the jungle by Baloo the Bear and his friend Bagheera. Sticking fairly faithfully to the original storyline, with the introduction of pantomime characters as Jane (the dame) and two mischief makers (Chitter and Chatter), the variety of songs ensure a well-rounded show suitable for all the family.

Just Breathe In, Dear

As well as treading the boards in every show, Joyce is the wardrobe mistress for an amateur dramatic society. She is rather disorganised and leaves everything to the last minute. Deidre has piled on the pounds since the last pantomime, so her fairy costume won't zip up. Joyce's mood pre-show week swings from despair to rage and poor Deidre feels the full force of her wrath. Julian has problems of his own.

Lay Your Cards on the Table

Wheelchair-bound former rugby player Tom has been surfing the web to keep himself occupied since his accident and has developed an interesting income stream.

Long Live Pantomime

A brief introduction to the traditions of British pantomime.

Look After The Cat, Darling

Jonty returns home from an activity weekend with his sister and brother-in-law to find that his partner has left him. He finally finds solace with another cat lover.

Look For The Silver Lining

George hates change and is not happy that his mother-in-law, Nora, is coming to stay. How will he react to her news?

Memory Lane

Walter Curtis has died and requested that his widow, Rosemary, scatter his ashes in the Welsh valleys where he was evacuated during the Second World War. We follow the emotional journey to Denbighshire in Wales made by his widow Rosemary, his daughter Mary, and sisters Vi and Doris. This is also a trip down memory lane for Doris and Vi, who were evacuated to Wales with Walter in 1941. They are looking forward to spending time with Gladys with whom they were billeted - Rosemary however is not entirely happy with Walter's request or his bequest...

Merlin - The Pantomime

Madcap wizard Merlin and his apprentice Harry are the magicians in this magical Arthurian-style romp. Can Merlin and Harry thwart evil Ravenclaw's plans to kidnap King Arthur's daughter, Princess Avaline? Will Dame Henrietta Cupcake get a knight to remember? There's plenty of fun and comedy in this new traditional family pantomime.

Moving Day

Recently divorced Caroline is leaving the home she loves. She reflects on how her life has turned out and has mixed feelings about the move. A moving day for her in more ways than one.

My Favourite Things

Justin has achieved his long held ambition to direct 'The Sound of Music' for his local amateur society. His casting ideas and unorthodox audition techniques ruffle a lot of feathers and his personal life is devastated after a medical consultation. He and his partner, Gerald manage to deal with the difficulties they both have to face with help from an unexpected source.

Old King Cole [Version 2]

Thwarted by Aladdin (in another panto), the wizard Abanazar is after another magical object to give him power - and this time he steals Old King Cole's crown. An unlikely party sets out to retrieve the crown, featuring Candy Floss, the sweet shop owner, Rhubarb Fool, the Jester, Hey, Diddle and Dee (the famous fiddlers three) and led by Jack, Candy's son, who wants to be a hero and win the traditional hero's reward of half a kingdom and the Princess's hand in marriage. Princess Rose is all in favour of this, but there's a snag - she's already betrothed to a prince from the neighbouring kingdom...

One Breakdown Too Many

Hannah, and her tipsy friend Mary, have broken down on their journey home. Unfortunately for the man on the other end of the phone line, Mary is determined to help her friend make the call to the breakdown service.

Reburying King Richard the Third

Dave and George are standing at the roadside watching the procession of King Richard The Third's remains, as it makes its way through the streets of Leicester. They chew over some history, enjoy commenting on the merits of a good send-off, and the spectacle of this occasion.

Robin Hood

When Robin Hood returns to Nottingham after a stint in the crusades, he meets the Sheriff's ward, Maid Marion and falls in love, only to find out that the Sheriff himself has designs on er. Marion isn't the only thing the Sheriff desires, the whole of Sherwood Forest is under threat of his evil plans when Robin's outlaws discover plans for the forest to be chopped down for the Sheriff's new money-grabbing venture. Robin and his band of Merry Men with the aid of Holly Jockey-Sticks, the woodland Fairy, Nellie Scarlet (Marion's nanny) and her son Wally set out to thwart the evil Sheriff once and for all to ensure good will always win over evil.

Sardines Again?

Mick's wife Christine is on yet another diet and, whilst sympathetic to her diets in the past, he has now been told by his doctor to reduce his cholesterol. Christine seems obsessed with their diet and when Mick is told he's got sardines again, he puts his foot down.

Sheer Luck Holmes

Pantomime with a capital P! All of the familiar panto ingredients and characters are here as the goodies all join together to solve the mysterious case of the missing art works. Holmes is assisted by his housekeeper Dottie the dame, the frustrated inventor of fantastical gadgets, and Baskerville the pantomime dog, in his quest to thwart baddies Mary Arty and Hudson the butcher whose sausages are not all they seem. The story moves at pace to the happy ending with quickfire repartee, reminiscent of Abbot and Costello coupled with lots of action, audience participation, song and dance, a love story and lashings of corny jokes.

Sherbet Lemons and Bon Bons

Pat and her daughter Janet are buying sweets in an old fashioned sweet shop. Pat expects everything to be old fashioned and voices her opinions.

Silver-Tongued

Dave and George are spending a night out at the local pub. George is seeking advice from Dave about his silver wedding anniversary.

Sleeping Beauty [Version 6]

Poison Ivy, the evil fairy casts a spell on Princess Rose because she did not receive an invitation to the christening. Will our hero Prince Rupert be able to save the girl of his dreams? Will man-mad Marigold Glove find love? The three good fairies are all played by men...

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs [Version 4]

When the evil Queen is told by her magic mirror that her beautiful step-daughter Snow White is the fairest in the land, she plots to kill her. Will Snow White be saved from Harry the huntsman's knife? And what is Harry the huntsman's secret? Join Snow White's best friend Bertie, Old Ma Bumble and the seven Dwarfs as they try to thwart the Queen at every turn. Throw into this mixture, Botchit and Leggit, two hapless builders, and you have a traditional family pantomime full of slapstick comedy and mayhem based on one of the best loved fairy stories of all time.

Stop Shouting, George

Ruth is worried about what has happened to her husband George's fashion sense since his retirement.

Taking An Interest

Older ladies Mary and Alice are in a long queue at the bank and they pass the time in idle conversation full of malapropisms, when young Ben joins the queue. The ladies' interest in Ben grows as they wait, until Mary comes to a startling and somewhat irritating realisation.

The Cautionary Tale of Georgie Porgie

The familiar tale of Georgie Porgie, whose bullying ways lead him to a grave end, is brought to life in an innovative manner.

The Cautionary Tale of Humpty Dumpty

The bullying Humpty Dumpty meets his deserved end, as the narrator reveals how he - or she - pushed him off the wall and describes the subsequent rejoicing.

The Cautionary Tale of Mary Contrary

Once upon a nursery crime - Mary Contrary demonstrates selfish actions, contrary ways and uncaring attitude to the environment, which lead to her eventual demise.

The Dieter's Lament

Amy has been dieting on and off for almost a year but has only lost a few pounds. As she attempts to eat yet another salad, she relates her difficulties.

The Ice Cream Man Cometh

After a long wet summer Luigi has been making the most of the sunshine, however not all the residents welcome him and tempers rise along with the temperature.

The Penguin Is Mightier Than The Swordfish

Clive and Barry are in a cab office waiting for a taxi, after spending a night out at the local pub watching a televised football match. Their football debate takes a different turn in the cab office.

To Hell With The Housework

A rhyming monologue about a big old fight in the cleaning equipment cupboard.

Trapped In The Web

Four characters whose common denominator is their addiction to their computers and the Internet - though they have very different reasons for their habit. Ultimately it is a play about individuals caught up in their own world - at times a world far removed from reality. With touching and at the same time comic stories to tell, ex rugby player Tom, reality TV forum fan Pam, E-Bay addict Susie, and dating site enthusiast Brenda keep us engrossed in their individual experiences on the web.

Treasure Island [Version 3]

Pirate captain - Long Joan Silver, is assisted by idiots Fore and Aft and an ever-growing parrot, in her dastardly attempts to wrest the treasure from our heroes. Dame Molly helps Jim Hawkins and the Squire in their battles with pirate Joan, and are ably assisted by Coral, the fairy of the Isle of Fright. In this fast-moving panto the baddies are thwarted and everyone lives happily ever after.

What a Tangled Web We Weave

Once upon a nursery crime - the cautionary tale of Incey Wincey Spider who enjoyed scaring people, until the day the tables were turned... (The nursery rhyme character Incey Wincey Spider is, in the USA, called Itsy Bitsy Spider. The logic of this defeats the best minds.)

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

Anne is in her sixties and talking about how she coped with suddenly becoming single again. She's not letting a second man leaving her for another woman get her down, she's picking herself up and living life for herself.

What's in a Name?

Pam doesn't like her name and reflects on the various pseudonyms she has used over the years.

Wonder Wall

Dave and George are spending a night out at the local pub. George is bemoaning the fact that his new neighbour intends to build a wall between their properties.

Word Up

Pensioner Ruby is having trouble with her computer and calls a computer helpline. The problem is eventually discovered, but will Ruby like the solution?

Working It Out

A witty look at the lives and loves of twin sisters Andrea and Jane. They work out their weight problems at the gym, much to the embarrassment of Jane's daughter Emma who works there, and then work out their relationship problems at the pub with a post gym drink or two. Joined by husband Tommy, who Jane is convinced is having an affair, recently divorced younger sister Nikki with her supportive friend Cally and just jilted Emma, the family work out and work through their individual difficulties together.

You Can't Take It With You

Expecting a windfall bequest after their 'beloved' Uncle Fred's death, avaricious sisters Carol and Pauline descend on his house to claim the spoils. Their hopes are dashed when they discover that someone has beaten them to it and the house is empty. The will reading increases their frustration as their bequests fail to meet expectations.

You'll Suit Just Fine [One-Act Version]

Mr Green is working in his small, family-run menswear shop and training up his new employee, Kevin. Although Kevin has a good eye for fashion he has a lot to learn about social etiquette. How will Kevin deal with a disgruntled customer?

You'll Suit Just Fine [Short Version]

Kevin is in training, but he's not quite up to speed yet. A difficult customer wants to return a suit so Mr Green, the owner, has to step in to save the day.